Finale: Confessional

[joe]

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

[joe]

Ah man. It's already started.

I definitely have an uphill battle with this one. If I win it, I'll be incredibly shocked.

[joe]

Ugh. I'm so stressed out over this! I've already won iSurv1vor, so, great, I guess. But when am I gonna have another chance at being the first two-time winner of the series?

If I had any regrets in this game, it's that I didn't play a bit more stronger strategically. I wish I had brought up wanting Jermaine out before Animal and Brenda did. I don't think my game was bad. But I do think it was UTR. I don't know that this jury will respect that at all.

I definitely do not let myself get carried to the end, though!

[joe]

I have a newfound confidence in my game as I've answered these questions. I'm never show how I come off, but, I do my best to try. I absolutely have no idea how things going to pan out, but I would like to think I've earned some jurors' respect.

Woods, though, I could kick him in the balls right now. Heh. He's telling me in private how it's basically all for show? Like ugh. Fuck off. I don't need to engage in an argument with you at the FTC if it doesn't MEAN anything to you. I'm so confused what the hell he even means by that. GOD DAMMIT WOODS IT'S REASONS LIKE THIS THAT I VOTED YOU OUT.

I find it weird and fucking stupid how my lack of desire to go on a fucking Skype call bears any weight on my game. Like who gives a flying fuck. Ricky and I talked about personal emotional shit, yet it didn't mean anything now because he could hear my nasal, monotone voice? Boo-fucking-hoo, motherfuckers. It's shit like this that is why I hate that ORGs seem to have moved over to Skype.

And to be honest, I wasn't even invited to that many fucking calls so what the fuck are they even talking about. I was eager to go into them when I was invited. I mean maybe they have 400 Skype calls I was not aware of, but it's not my God damned fault they felt it irrelevant to invite me. Like seriously. Suck my dick.

SORRY I'M RAGING THIS IS JUST A REALLY STUPID FTC WITH STUPID IRRELEVANT QUESTIONS THAT ARE STUPID AND I FEEL LIKE I JUST ANSWERED THE SAME TWO OR THREE QUESTIONS OMG IF I DON'T AT LEAST MAKE THE VOTE CLOSE TO ANIMAL I'M GONNA PUNCH SOMETHING.

I feel like I'm in the spotlight of a lot of questions. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But hey, if people ask you shit, that means they wanna know some shit... or whatever.

Also, I almost feel like I'm going the way of Dawn in Caramoan. Except less lovable. Well, I loved her, anyway.

[joe]

God at the snail's pace that this FTC is moving, I am guessing we won't have FTC until Wednesday night. They should obviously vote for me for answering everyone first. Heh.

I don't know where the fuck Jedda went off to, either. I doubt I'm going to be earning his vote, but, who the eff knows.

[joe]

I always knew this would happen to me someday. I've always been grateful when I've seen people request them of others, that it's never happened to me, and now it's happened.

I fucking hate Jedda. I am so mortified right now. I hate it when jurors ask these bullshit tasks of you. I am not an actor. I'm not a good public speaker. I already feel so embarrassed by the idea of having to speak in some stupid Australian accent just to gain his vote. Like... if I don't get his vote, that video is getting deleted right away. I just can't. Like this makes me want to cry.

I know it seems silly, probably, that I'm getting so upset over this. But, these really aren't the types of things I do because it's not who I am and I think that's perfectly fucking acceptable. Maybe it's funny when others do it, sure. But I don't do accents. Like I hate listening to my voice regularly. I don't wanna listen to it attempt to sound like something it isn't. I'll probably end up sounding more British if anything... if anything.

Seriously Jedda can go fuck himself. I don't see how it's any way relevant whatsoever to the answers he seeks. And what would I do if my boyfriend cheated on me? Well, fuck if I know. I've never fucking had a boyfriend, and honestly, I don't really care about his boyfriend/cheating situation. His boyfriend was an asshole. That's the end of the story.

Seriously I fucking hate this jury like ugh. Except for the people that actually asked things of me relevant to the fucking game.

Fuck. Jedda makes me wanna punch my screen.

[kirin]

You can do it!! <3

[joe]

Well Ricky is going to vote for Animal based on his comment on Nax's thread. So, great for that, I guess. Apparently me lying to them is somehow not as good as Animal lying to them. Alrighty then.

Anyway that Australian shit video is up. I'm removing it as soon as all votes are cast. Heh. It's terrible and I don't want to hear anything of it ever again.

[joe]

Woods is seriously being a moron and contradicting himself every two seconds.

If I regret anything, it's not coming to the end with him and Brenda. That would have been a pretty easy road to victory. I don't think anyone would give a shit about anything he has to say at the very end like dear sweet motherfuckin' God.

Like if you didn't trust me then I have absolutely no bad feelings anymore over having voted his ass outta the game. I clearly made the right move. The whole thing has just fucked me right fucking off.

[joe]

Hahahaha.

I'm playing dirty.

I very strategically mentioned in my video that Animal showed me the convo where Jedda was talking shit about me, and Jedda brought it up with me, at which point I seized an opportunity and mentioned how Animal also told me about their snapchats which were, well, intimate, to say the least. :-)

It definitely put Jedda on my side some more, and I'm glad for that. Sorry, Animal! Except I'm not, really.

[joe]

I do not need to say anymore in Nax's thread (and hopefully no one else does so, either). Animal ended it better than I could have imagined he would. Thanks for admitting I got what I wanted, and that I got people to do my dirty work for me. I couldn't have imagined a better thing for him to have said.

Hopefully, others see how it's a positive for me as well.

[joe]

SPOILER: Click to show

Just testing something!

[joe]

Well, this is my last India confessional (I almost wrote Bali!).

I guess I just wanna say thanks, Sandy, for inviting me back to play again. Thanks to Kirin for dealing with my insanity all season. Thanks for appreciating my foray into video confessionaling. Thanks to Tucker for being one of my #1 fans. And thanks to anyone else who read this consistently and enjoyed it.

I'm not 100% certain what is going to happen at the vote reveal tonight. But I feel like it's probably not going to work out in my favour. I have more or less assumed that Animal is going to be the winner of iSurv1vor: India. I can't lie that I won't be disappointed to not win. I feel like I had a golden opportunity to be the first two-time winner and now it feels like I pretty much squandered it.

If I lose, I know why. I brought the wrong person to the end. I miscalculated Animal's social bonds. While I do believe he didn't do as much in the game as he is being given credit for, it's hard to fight a solid relationship. I'd vote for my best friend over the "better player" any day. Not to discount Animal's game. This game is incredibly social. If he wins, he did what he needed to do. This is my mistake. I have to own it.

I just really don't wanna lose! Haha. Sigh. I'm going in with hope, but low expectations. Who knows, I guess.

[Deleted]

Love you buddy, you and Jermaine were phenomenal reps for us weiners

[reeki]

omg joe lmao